One day Beverly can’t get out of bed. It isn’t
because she doesn’t want to, but she can’t master the strength to do so. Her
life becomes hard to manage. Once upon a time she was capable of doing
anything, but lately, the smallest tasks are hard. Beverly is depressed, but
she doesn’t want to admit it. To do so would mean she was weak. But by not admitting
this problem, things get worse. The more she tries to cope alone, the harder it
is. Philip her lovely husband has tried to support her through it all, but at
the end of the day, it is up to her to get out of the darkness that clouds her
life.
On the road to recovery, Beverly meets Lucy,
who makes her see life differently. Beverly begins to live in the moment and
appreciates the love her husband has given her. He is the most important part
of her recovery, and he’s sticks by her until the end. Philip loves the broken
part of her, and his support shows just that.
Excerpt
The
next morning, Beverly didn’t get out of bed, nor did she get out of bed the day
after. It was on the third day, which was a Saturday did, Philip try and get
her out of bed. Like the other days she’d stayed in bed, he brought her a
morning coffee.
‘Morning
honey, it’s eleven o’clock. I’ve brought you a coffee.’ He placed it on the
side table. ‘Honey?’ He gently pulled the covers off. ‘Are you going to get out
of bed today?’
She
squinted her eyes up at him.
‘You
really need to try and do something.’
‘I
don’t want to.’ She pulled the covers over her again.
‘I
know you don’t or don’t feel like it. You have to at least try.’
‘I
don’t have the energy.’ She spoke beneath the cover. Beverly wanted to be her
happy self, but couldn’t master the strength to bring that person out. A few
months ago, Beverly would’ve been up by eight. The house would’ve been tidied
and her day scheduled. That wasn’t the case for the past few months. Things had
deteriorated dramatically. She wasn’t eating enough; her mind was racing with
thoughts at times. Helplessness engulfed her, keeping her down and powerless to
change.
‘I
think you need help,’ he said as gently as he could. ‘You can’t go on like
this.’
‘Help?’
‘Yes
honey. I’ve been reading up on stuff and I think you’re depressed.’
She
didn’t like that word. It meant weakness, it meant she’d lost control. She
wasn’t depressed, she was just having a bad period.
‘You
need to seek help, this isn’t improving.’
The
covers shifted and she sat up. ‘I’m fine. Now give me my coffee.’ It had taken
all the strength she could muster to sit up. Life just wasn’t worth living, but
she wasn’t ready to admit that she’d weakened.
‘You’re
not fine.’ He handed her the coffee. ‘You’re far from fine.’
She
took a sip of the hot drink.
‘When
did you last go out with your friends?’
Beverly
couldn’t answer that because it had been awhile.
‘When
did you last speak to them? When did you last speak to Laura. You two were
inseparable.’
‘She’s
been busy.’
‘Sweetie.’
He tried to take her hand, but she pulled it back. ‘You haven’t written in a
while, you don’t get out of bed as much, and you drinking way too much.’
‘Are
you judging me? I don’t need a father. I
need a husband,’ she said defensive.
‘And
I’m trying to be that to you. You just
won’t let me. I’ve done everything in my power to make you happy, to make you
feel better, but you just don’t see it. It’s like there’s this dark cloud over
you.’
‘What
do you want from me? What do you want me to do?’ Her voice began to rise and
her eyes glazed over. ‘I’m just tired. If you leave me alone and let me figure
this out, I’ll be fine.’
‘I
don’t know about that. This has been going on a little longer than I think is
healthy.’
‘Okay
I’ll give Laura a ring and arrange to go out for drinks. Will that please you?’
‘It’s
not about pleasing me. It’s about you taking care of you. I’m just worried
about you. I love you.’
She
lowered her head feeling ashamed all over again. This seemed to be the cycle,
anger, sadness and shame.
‘Just
leave me alone.’
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