So This Is Love

I'm so excited to announce that the second book to the Eden, Jude and Spencer story is now finished. I honestly enjoyed writing it. It took me on an unexpected journey that made me ask many questions about love.

Do we fall in love and that's the end of it or do we only discover more about ourselves when we fall in Love?

I guess we're the only ones who can answer that question but the characters of my book answered it very well. Love has no time or age limit, it just is. So I hope you will continue the journey with them and I hope you enjoy the second part to this story. 

AMAZON UK
AMAZON US

Eden has made her choice but it isn’t as simple as that. Even though she thinks she knows what she wants, she had failed to consider what the other party wanted.

Spencer is crazy in love with Eden to the point of it becoming an obsession. The once soft spoken Spencer has sent some serious doubts about who he really is. He isn’t the man he used to be or he never was the man Eden thought he was.

And Jude, Jude is young but also very wise. He has the amazing ability to see everything in a positive light that it makes Eden realise that age doesn’t equal maturity. And in the end his positive outlook on life suddenly makes sense to Eden when time is suddenly taken from their lives.  

As you enter the world of Eden, Spencer and Jude, you will discover that betrayal can be overcome, attempted murder wasn’t an answer and that secrets can totally change the course of their lives, but you will also discover passion, love and a happy beginning to the end. 

Excerpt

‘Oh Jude. I’m so sorry please forgive me.’ She pleaded.

‘I don’t understand. How did you find me? What are you doing here?’ He looked at the beautiful woman with the bushy hair and his heart melted. He still felt the anger towards her but he couldn’t help but feel the warmth within him for her. He loved her and yet she’d hurt him dearly.

‘Please let me in and I’ll explain everything.’ She looked into his brilliant blue eyes but he only looked ahead avoiding her gaze.

‘I don’t know. This has really taken its toil on me and I don’t think I can.’

‘Please.’ She put her hand to his face and gently ran a finger down the contours of his face. He briefly closed his eyes to the sensation of her soft touch but quickly denied himself the pleasure. ‘Jude?’

He stepped back and let her walk in. It was bigger on the inside than it looked on the outside. The roof above them had wooden beams and as he led them to the living room Eden took in the beauty of the cottage that must’ve been in his family for years.

There was a fire burning in the living room. A blanket and a book were placed in the middle of the floor. One long cream couch stood to the back of the room against the window. As she looked out of the window she could see the sheep grazing on the field besides it. 

Just then she turned back to face Jude who was gazing intensely at her. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking but she had to say what she wanted to say quickly.

‘Please sit.’ He pointed her in the direction of the couch and she sat and he quickly did the same. They faced each other for a moment in silence. She watched every part of him. His forehead down to his sharp nose and then his lips. He was so stunning Eden didn’t know what to do with herself. Likewise, even though he tried as hard as he could he couldn’t stop gazing at the woman in front of him. It felt like a dream, she had finally come to be his and yet he couldn’t bring himself to accept it.

‘Jude I’m sorry for pushing you away. I’m sorry for saying that I had to choose. You were right not to wait it was a selfish thing to ask.’ Tears gathered in her eyes. ‘I just hope you’ll forgive me and hopefully we could make a go of us.’ She reached out to take his hand but he quickly withdrew.

‘I don’t know Eden. You hurt me. You really hurt me. I’m here to get over you and I don’t think I can do this again with you. I loved you.’

Loved! The words stabbed through her heart like a spear.

‘I just don’t know. The night you told me you were going with Spencer was the night I knew I couldn’t put myself through this any longer.’

‘But I told Spencer it wasn’t him, it never was. I was running, I was afraid, afraid that you would leave me.’

‘What’s going to stop you from being afraid again? How do I know you won’t run again? I can’t do that to myself again.’ He looked away and out onto the field. He just couldn’t have her in his presence, so close. He didn’t feel strong enough with her right there.

‘I won’t, I won’t run again. Please give us a try.’ She felt at though she was going nowhere.

Jude shook his head unconvinced; a tear trickled down his cheek. Eden hadn’t realised how serious he’d been about her and how young and fragile he still was.

‘Tell me you want me to leave and I will. I won’t force you to have me here. I don’t expect you to take me back even though I was hoping you would.’

Jude pursed his lips. How could he tell the one woman he’d loved so early and quickly in his life to go? It wasn’t that simple and yet his ego had been so bruised he just couldn’t fight against it.

‘I want you to go,’ he said finally. ‘I’m sorry.’ He got up and walked towards the window and wiped his tears.

‘Oh.’ She nodded defeated. It was the most painful thing she’d experienced since the loss of George. Her body felt like lead and she felt as though she would be sick but she gathered herself together and decided to be strong. It had been a long shot. It had been a risk going there and she was glad she had tried. There was no other way she would be able to convince him that she was serious about him as he was about her.

‘I’ll go. I’ll go.’ She swallowed back the tears as she stood up from the settee and walked towards the door.

‘Jude,’ she said before walking from the living room and he turned to face her tears in his eyes.

‘You once told me you loved me and I wondered how someone could love someone that quickly. Do you remember what you said to me?’

He shook his head.

‘You said there was no time limit on love and I get that now. I’ve always loved you. I’ve known from the beginning. You were right, you just know, there is no time on it. I was stupid and scared but I’m not now. I do love you.’ She turned and walked out the door and headed for her car.

What to expect in 2013

As I sit down at my computer on New Years eve I feel nothing but excitement. 

Penning the second series to the Eden, Spencer and Jude saga from Complicated Love has nothing but surprises  The characters have taken me to places I hadn't dreamed about when I started the first series.

Jude has a secret of his own that will come out and Spencer, is he really as nice as he makes out to be? Eden has sorted through her confusion and is moving forward positively but with all the challenges thrown her way, one has to wonder if she'll managed to continue the positive outlook.

Anyway back to my three favourite characters!  I swear it's like have three people live in my head day and night. Like have a split personality. But I must admit I'm enjoying every moment of them and of the story. Please check back for more and I promise you won't be disappointed. 

Wishing you a happy and successful 2013!

Complicated Love

Eden is carrying a secret so dark she feels the need to pay for it by never falling in love again.  Only her friend Olivia since school years knows the whole story.

Eden believes that she doesn’t deserve love but one night on an evening out Eden bumps into Jude, a man fifteen years younger than she is.  The young medical student is infatuated but Eden won’t allow herself to feel anything for him. Instead she takes up the offer to date her boss Spencer who has been pestering her for the past few years. Eden will do anything not to fall in love again but Jude won’t give up that easily and Eden finds it hard to resist him because he reminds her so much of her past. The past she never wants to bring up again.

Jude fights his hardest for her but as time passes he gets the feeling that she doesn’t love him back as much as he loves her and wonders if it is worth the effort . Eden has to make a decision that will change the rest of her life and she wonders in the end if she’s made the right decision.

This is the first in the series please look out for the second series ‘So this is love.’ Coming in early 2013.

 Excerpt

Bag packed Eden sat back on the bed and thought about tomorrow. She was actually looking forward to it. It would be nice to go away for the weekend and do other things besides work. Sort of a refresher, the body’s way of rejuvenating but then again it wasn’t that simple, Eden was still torn.

Just then she heard the door bell ring.

‘Shit!’ It had slipped her mind. ‘Jude! Shit!’ She was supposed to answer the text to let him know she wouldn’t be available but it was too late now.

Quickly she took a glance at herself in the mirror. She still looked great in her grey tweed dress that was just above the knees, the black woolly tights and the black ankle boots really put the outfit together. Her hair was still in its place with a woollen flower headband around it. She rubbed her lips together as if distributing lip-gloss and then hurried downstairs.

‘God I’ve missed you.’ He flung his arms around her before she had the chance to say or do anything.

He squeezed her tight into him and for a moment Eden took in the embrace, enjoying the moment.

‘Jude.’ She pulled away quickly and then closed the door. ‘We need to talk.’

‘About what?’ He smiled down at her, he was lovely, there was no denying that but was that enough. He leaned forward and captured her face into his hands and brought her face forward so that their lips met.

‘Jude.’ She mumbled weakly into him. ‘Jude please.’ She withdrew again weakly. It was so hard trying to resist him.

‘What’s wrong? Have I done something wrong?’

‘Why don’t you come and sit down in the living room.’ She led the way and he followed. She sat down and he took off his coat before doing the same.

‘You’re worrying me. What’s wrong?’ The worry was evident in his eyes.

‘It’s us, this, we have to talk.’ She had to tell him, she’d decided what she wanted and she had to live with the consequences of it. She’d replayed a lot of what Olivia had said and although she was right on many levels, Eden had to do what was best for her.

‘We can’t do this.’ She took his hand in hers.

‘Do what?’

‘This, whatever it is you call this. You can’t keep showing up here. I can’t do this with you.’

‘Is it that man?’

‘What man?’

‘The one who came here the other day?’

‘Spencer, his name is Spencer, and no it isn’t Spencer. This is about us.’

‘I don’t understand. I thought you understood that I love you, that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I thought you felt the same way too.’

Eden pursed her lips together; this was harder than she thought it would be. Of course she liked him, she liked him more than anyone, she might even love him, but was that enough?

‘I can’t. I can’t do this. This isn’t what I want.’

His eyes glazed over but he blinked back the threat of tears. ‘Why. What could honestly make you say this? You have to help me understand.’

Eden took a deep breath and squeezed his hand.

‘It’s a lot of things.’

‘Tell me. I have time.’ He wasn’t letting this go.

‘For starters, the age thing. It’s just not right.’

‘Say’s who. No one questions a fifty year old man marrying a twenty five year old.’

‘It’s different.’ She huffed.

‘How?’

‘This is a mans world!’ she sang trying to joke about it. ‘This is a mans world.’

But Jude didn’t share in the joke; he turned to look at her seriously. This wasn’t a joke to him, neither was it to her but she just didn’t see the possibility of a relationship.

‘It’s strange on so many levels.’ She continued.

‘How exactly? I’m not buying that!’

‘First of all we just met. It’s hardly appropriate declaring love for one another so early.’ Although she had to admit the powerful feeling within her must be what love felt like. ‘Secondly, I hardly know you. I know you’re a doctor but I don’t really know you.’

‘Anything else?’ He raised his eyebrows. Eden shrugged; there were many things she quite couldn’t think up just then.

‘About me telling you I love you. You may think I’m naïve but I’m studying for a medical degree. I know what I’m saying and even though it may be impossible to you, it’s possible for me. It’s so real. I just know that this is it, deny if you might, but I know that you feel it too. It’s not something that can be explained it can only be felt. I may be young but I’m so sure of this feeling, I know it deep down in me that I love you.’

Maturity had taught her otherwise. At sixteen that may’ve been true but life experience had taught her otherwise. There was something wonderful about being young and naïve though. You took more chances at life and maybe that was how life was supposed to be; about taking chances, about taking a step of faith and living in the now. 

‘What will it take for you to believe a little? To stop being so afraid and to step out and love? You want to know about me, ask. We have years ahead of us.’ His face lit up somewhat. For someone that young he sure was wise. If she believed in reincarnation he would’ve been an old soul.

‘I am. I’m doing that.’

He took in a deep breath, ‘Really, with that guy – ‘

‘Spencer, his name is Spencer and well…’

‘Are you seriously going to be with that guy?’

Eden felt a tad annoyed; she really wished he would stop calling Spencer that guy.

‘Jude, I’m…I’m trying to understand what I want. It’s been a long while and I’m trying to figure it all out.’

‘And how do you propose to do that?’

Eden wondered if she should tell him about tomorrow. Deep down she knew what she wanted but she wasn’t sure it was even the right thing.

‘I’m going away with him.’

Jude’s face dropped, Eden watched as his face turned red and his eyes widened.

‘He’s booked us a weekend away. I know this might be a shock to you but I really need to do this. Jude, I don’t want you waiting for me. I want you to move on with your life. I want you to be with someone right for you.’

He remained silent and looked into space, Eden had no idea what to expect. A part of her was afraid he would walk out of the door and never come back. Was that what she wanted?

‘Aren’t you going to say something?’ she asked finally.

‘There…there is nothing to say. It is clear that you’ve made your choice.’

‘I haven’t made a choice; I’m only trying to find out what I want.’

‘By going away with Spencer?’ He finally said his name as if he had accepted defeat. ‘I want you to know that I love you.’ He looked into her eyes. ‘I’m not just saying it, I mean it but it’s clear you don’t love me back and – ‘

‘It’s complicated Jude, please – ‘

‘This is why I’m leaving now.’ He got up to go, the pain was like a dagger through his heart. He was about to let the love of his life leave his life for good. There was no other way to convince her that he loved her and that he wanted to be with her. He’d never been so sure of anything in his life but he couldn’t force love.

Eden watched as he stood up and walked towards the door, she followed slowly behind him. Her body felt like lead and the fear in her stomach felt the loss. Was this what she really wanted? Why was she pushing love away? But she knew why, it was better to be safe than sorry.

‘Goodbye Eden.’

‘Jude.’ She reached out and grasped his arm. ‘Give me time.’

‘To do what?’

‘To choose, to find out what I want.’

‘What about me? What about what I want.’

‘Please?’

‘I don’t know Eden, this isn’t what I anticipated. You don’t get to choose, to play with my emotions.’

‘But I’m not…I’m just so confused right now.’ She felt like a tided up knot.

‘I’m not.’ He turned the door handle and walked out the without turning back.

Complicated Love is available at

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Merry Christmas and a happy 2013

It’s been a year and some months since I published my first novella. It has been an interesting journey and I’m looking forward to 2013.

If there is one thing I’ve learnt is that you can’t please everyone. I once heard a saying that opinions are like butts, everyone has one. So there will be people who like what you write and there will be people who don’t and that’s okay.

When you do what you love you stay true to yourself and even though some people may not like what you do, you do and that’s what counts. When someone doesn’t like what I write then it is clear that that person should not be reading my work and will probably never will again.  The people who do like what I write will, I hope will read more of my work. I’m grateful to all my readers, those who like my work and those who didn’t. They have all taught me something valuable about myself, like never give up and keep writing and improving my craft.  Our world would be a boring place if we were all the same. It’s good to have difference of opinion.

On a different note I’m happy to announce that I do have a new story coming out in the New Year. A love story that I’m so excited to tell. It started as an idea and I wanted to play with the characters a little and it turned out different to what I’d set out for it to be. It will be part of a series. Not sure how long the series will be but I will keep writing it until there is nothing left to write. I guess we all fantasise about the love we desire and even though sometimes in reality it may not be so, at least in our imagination we can make that dream come true.

Finally I just want to say thank you to all my readers and all my followers for an inspiring 2012. I've learnt so much and I’m continuing to learn. May you all have a blessed Christmas and an amazing 2013!

The Man I used to Be

My New novella The Man I used to Be is now available at Amazon, Kobo & Smashwords and will aslo soon be available at B&N, Apple, Sony.

Until the first of November you can get it free from smashwords using the coupon below:

ZP95Y

Craig is a player; he collects girl’s numbers like trophies. It’s fun for him, it makes him feel like the ‘Man’ until the day he meets Papaya. She’s different. He can’t get her into bed that easily, not until she gets to know him better.

Papaya is a beautiful and confident woman and someone Craig really wants to ‘conquer’ so he goes along with the dating thing hoping that one day she will give him the goods.

A month later he gets his wish and it’s more than he expected. Papaya maybe sweet and innocent on the outside but behind closed doors she has a very naughty side. Craig is pleased that he had waited, but after he got what he wanted he does what he does best, walks away to find his next score. But Papaya won’t go away, in fact, she gives him news he never wanted to hear.

The evening he finally agrees to meet up with her to discuss the unwanted news, they have a fight. He leaves on a bad note and on his way to a date Craig is involved in an accident. When he wakes up and finds himself in hospital he’s not quite the same. Something frightening has happened, something supernatural, at least he thinks so. He can’t explain it to anyone, so he takes on his new life as if it is the normal thing to do.

In his new life he learns a lot about Papaya, things that he had either not noticed or not bothered to care about. He also starts to have feelings for Papaya and for the first time he falls in love. But there is a problem, he’s not the person she knows, he’s someone else. Craig has to learn to cope being someone else and hope that he can be with Papaya, even if it is only as friends.

Even though Craig can’t explain what really happened after the accident it taught him a lot and his life changes for the better. Not just for him but for Papaya.

Excerpt

So the day finally came along when she turned around and told me that it was a big day for us. At that point I had no clue what she meant. We’d just got back from another long date, of long talks about the future. Foreign talk but like I said I went along with it. Then when we got to the door, I leaned in to kiss her good night when she said. ‘Tonight’s the night.’

Those words were like magic. Everything in me came to attention. I was alive, buzzing and ready. Tonight is the night; kept ringing in my ears. My breath increased and even my balls swelled. Was it really going to happen?

She pulled me into the dark house then flooded it with light. Her black hair cascaded down her shoulders over the little red dress she wore. If she had known how many nights I had masturbated to her image, would she still have wanted me? I was so fucking horny. I could visualise her body naked before me. I moved in close towards her and our lips met. Everything inside me began to explode. Her scent was sweet, her body soft. I ran my hands through her thick hair and let them run down to her back. Her neediness for me was loud and clear. Her breathing so heavy, I could only imagine how wet her pussy was.

We wasted no time. My hands found the zip to the dress and pulled it down, it fell to the floor. She stood before me like a goddess, so full and so beautiful.  

Papaya looked at me and for a moment and smiled. There was a hint of mischievousness in her eyes. She held out her hand and I took it and she guided me upstairs. We paused at the door and she turned to me.

‘Don’t freak out,’ she said.

‘What do you mean?’

It was then that she opened the door to reveal what was on the inside. Wow…who would have thought!

She guided me slowly. I was intrigued, my wand was rock hard. She stripped off my clothes hungrily and I stood stark naked with my cock standing to attention. She walked to the corner of the room and retrieved a very thick rope.  I watched; her sudden confidence astonished me. It was like a switch had suddenly gone on within her and a new person had been revealed

She walked over to the chair that looked like a bar stool and climbed on.

‘Tie me up,’ she said.

Obediently I walked towards her, took the rope and waited. Papaya lifted her legs towards her ears; her middle was so wet I couldn’t wait to dip my cock in. The swelling of my balls threatened to erupt but I held back. I brought my focus to the rope in my hand instead.

‘Put it around my knees and around my back, thread through my arms.’

I did as just that. The rope held back her legs, went round her back, threaded through her arms, tying them up too. Her pussy hole expanded and was drenched.

‘Take those and clip them to my breasts.’ She eyed two clips that looked like pegs. It was an odd sensation as I watched her squirm with pain and pleasure. Who was this woman? I wasn’t complaining, the sight of her tied up was sensational. Her long black hair flowed towards the ground.

I had never done this before but it was great just looking at her that way.

‘Now, do as you please with me!’ she said.

If these were the words I’d been waiting for, for the past month, then I was glad I waited!

Guest Blogger on Romcon

On the 14th of September I will be a guest blog on Romcon. You will be able to read an excerpt to The Trouble With Love is... There will also be an opportunity to get my novella for free. The way to do this is to comment on my blog post that day and you will be given a coupon to smashwords to read my book for free.

I hope that you will take the time and pass by Romcon and comment. I also hope that you will read my book.

I'm truly grateful for my readers, they inspire me to carry on and do the thing I love the most, writing stories. I've realised through this journey that it's a marathon and not a sprint, that I'm always learning and that you get better the more you do it. I've learnt not to take things personally and to appreciate that everyone has an opinion.

I will continue to write and I will continue to enjoy doing so. I'm also just about to finish another novella which I thoroughly enjoyed writing. The idea for this one came about after I had a drifting thought about an ex. I loved it! And I hope others do too!

The Trouble with love is...

Sydney and Phoebe are having relationship trouble. Things had been great for years up until Ryan Scott arrived on the scene.

Ryan is Sydney’s new boss. He’s been called in to shake things up at their magazine in the Leeds office.  Sydney had been weary about having a new boss. She hadn’t had a promotion in years and she felt that the new boss would be a set back to her progress.  But Ryan is different and has a different agenda for Sydney.

At first Sydney finds him hard to read. He seems so serious and uptight. But as time goes by and she spends more time by his side; Sydney begins to feel things for him she’d buried and tried to forget a long time ago.

No matter how hard she tries to shake him from her mind she can’t and Ryan doesn’t let her either.  She has to explore what she’s feeling and honour her feelings. But this comes at the price of loosing her long term relationship.

What Sydney doesn’t know is that Ryan has a secret. Will she throw away everything only to discover things weren’t the way they seemed on the surface?

It’s a journey only Sydney can take a journey that reminds her of her mother and the dreams she once had but had put to one side for her partner Phoebe. In the end Sydney has to decide what the best course of action will be for her life.

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