Finding Love again

Robyn and Ethan are soul mates; they’ve been together since university. They promised each other that they would always be there for each other until Robyn is involved in an accident that leaves her blind, changing the status quo. Strain is put on the relationship to the point Ethan can no longer bear it and exists with another woman on his arm.  Robyn is left alone and devastated not wanting to live anymore. But a dog named Pepsi changes all that, she becomes her eyes and soon Robyn is bold enough to venture out into the world again. A world that is totally different to what she knows.

                                                                                                                        

One day Robyn walks into a coffee shop and her life is changed forever. Carl, tall and handsome behaviour analyst is swept away by her beauty and vulnerability. His appearance in her life changes the way she views her loss of sight and she begins to face her life and make changes for good. Robyn discovers that loosing her sight wasn’t as bad as she thought it would be.

Excerpt

‘Hello?’ A male voice came from her left side.

‘Are you talking to me?’

Pepsi woofed slightly and the gentleman laughed.

‘Yes, I am. You seem so…so happy so free,’ he said.

‘I do?’ She had to admit she felt it.

‘Yes, yes you do. I’m not sure when was the last time I saw someone look so happy, so content. We all seem pretty rushed now a days.’ His voice was deep but gentle, Robyn tired to visualise what he looked like. Was he tall, was he short? What colour were his eyes? Did he have a moustache or a beard, was he fat or was he thin? Just then she giggled.

‘Share,’ he said.

‘Oh it’s nothing,’ she smiled.

‘It’s obviously something because you seem to be laughing.’

‘Well…’ she hesitated and took her time to savour the moment. It had been a long while since having a conversation like this with someone. ‘I was just trying to imagine what you look like. You see….I have this crazy thing going on in my head. I imagine what places look like, how people look by the sounds of their voices.’ She dropped her head shyly, what was she doing, taking to a faceless stranger.

‘That sounds kind of interesting. Do you mind if I join you?’

‘Urm… no…sure you’re welcome to join me.’

‘Thanks.’ The gentleman shifted and moved over to her table and at that moment a waitress brought Robyn’s coffee.

‘So indulge me.’ he said. ‘Why don’t you tell me what you think I look like?’

‘Urmm…’ Robyn pursed her lips. ‘That’s going to be pretty hard.’

‘Well I can start and then you do the same for me.’

‘Well that’s not really fair is it, you can see me.’

‘I can, but can I really see you?’

‘Okay…I’m listening.’ Now he’d got her really interested. ‘What do you see?’

‘A very very beautiful woman.’ He started and Robyn blushed. ‘She has lovely long black hair, a cute button nose, lovely brown eyes and even though she can’t see with those eyes, she can really see. She looks like she’s been through a lot but right now she’s finally accepting what is and so she’s comfortable. She loves how her life is turning out, it’s the beginning but she’s beginning to master control. This is the first time she’s been out to a coffee shop on her own and she likes the idea....so how am I doing?’

‘Wow…have you been stalking me? Have we perhaps met?’ she laughed.

‘No, I’m a physiologist; I study human behaviour and can usually tell a lot by what you do rather than what you say. Most of what we say is unspoken and more through our body language. You chose to sit right at the back hoping it was secluded because you weren’t quite confident about it but then you discovered it wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be and began to listen out for sounds around you.’

‘So you’ve been watching me.’

‘Guilty… but how could I not, you’re beautiful.’

‘Oh c’mon.’ she laughed.

‘Don’t be afraid to accept a compliment. You are very beautiful.’

Robyn pursed her lips together and then a smile appeared on her face. ‘Thank you…someone used to say that to me a long time ago.’ She thought briefly about Ethan.

Unfailing Love

Snippet to Unfailing love – Enjoy

Jude was almost ready. In a way he was glad that Eden had rung to say she was running a little late. This way he would be able to put the finishing touches to what he was doing. His heart skipped, never had he been this excited. He was grateful to Amber for all her help and he would definitely owe her one. He wasn’t sure he would’ve been able to pull it all off on his own, well at least not in one day after a lecture.

He walked into the kitchen and made a few finishing touches to the meal he had prepared and then he heard the keys in the door. He quickly took off the apron and made his way to the door to greet her. Quickly he took her into his arms and planted a very wet kiss on her lips.

‘Hmmm, happy to see me and what’s the gorgeous smell?’ she looked up at him lovingly.

‘It’s a surprise.’

Eden raised her eyebrows, the house was warm and as she looked at the passage way it was clear of socks and shoes.

‘The house looks clean.’

‘Hmmm, I’ve made sure there are no socks hanging about and I’ve done some of the laundry and cleaned the kitchen and upstairs.’

‘Oh wow!’ She was genuinely surprised.

‘And that’s not all my lovely.’

‘It isn’t?’

He shook his head and held out his hand for her to take.

‘Close your eyes,’ he said.

‘Oh, this is so exciting. What is it?’

‘It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you would it?’

Eden giggled as they walked towards the living room, he pushed opened the door and Eden could hear the light sound of instrumental music. She also caught a whiff of a sweet orangey smell.

‘What’s that beautiful smell?’ she asked.

‘You will have to wait my love.’ He guided her a bit more and then finally stopped.

For a moment he let go of her hand and Eden stood with her eyes shut giggling.

‘No opening your eyes.’ He warned.

‘I won’t, I promise.’

There was a bit of shuffling and then it was dead silent. Where had he gone? Eden tried to sense him but she didn’t have a clue where he’d gone. She knew he was close but couldn’t figure out where.

‘Okay…you can open your eyes.’

Slowly Eden opened her eyes. She was greeted by darkness. Not total darkness but candles lit up the dark room everywhere.

‘Oh wow!’ Her body covered in Goosebumps as she looked down and saw Jude on one knee. ‘Oh my god Jude.’ Tears welled up in her eyes.

‘I know you’ve said yes to me already but I wanted to make this special like I promised.’

Eden dropped her head to the side and gazed at him tenderly. The candlelight from a round table besides them lit up his handsome face. He took her hand in his and smiled.

‘Eden Hayden you mean the world to me. The first time I lay eyes on you I knew you were mine. I just knew it in my heart and I still know it today.’

‘Awww…you’re making me cry.’ She sniffed.

He let go of her hand for a short while and pulled out a little black velvet box from his back pocket and proceeded to open it before her.

‘Oh Jude!’ She cupped her hands to her mouth.

‘Eden Hayden.’

‘Yes?’ she shook.

‘Will you marry me?’

‘Yes, yes I will marry you. Yes I will marry you.’ She gave him her shaky hand and he put the ring on her finger gently.

‘You have just made me the happiest man in the world. He rose to his feet and took her into his arms. He brought her face forward and kissed her passionately. Eden too took as much of him as she could, she had never felt this emotional all at once. For moments they would stop and gaze into each others eyes, speaking volumes and yet saying nothing. Only they knew between them what each gaze meant.

‘I love you so much.’ He whispered finally and stole a kiss again. ‘I love you so much.’ He bit her bottom lip. ‘You are amazing.’ Again he stole a kiss teasingly and tenderly and then finally they couldn’t hold back and gave of themselves completely.

‘Don’t get me too excited.’ He mouthed against her. ‘We have a long night ahead of us.’

‘We do?’

‘Yes, let me take your jacket.’ He offered. He then took her towards the small round table that had two of the kitchen chairs and pulled out a chair for her to sit.

‘This is lovely. I see you found the table clothes.’ She teased.

‘I did indeed.’

A candle was lit in the middle of the table and two plates and cutlery were opposite each other.

‘This is so exciting Jude, thank you.’

‘For you? Anything.’ He leaned down and kissed her cheek. ‘Now just give me a few minutes and I’ll be back with our dinner.’

‘Ooooh...’

He picked up a remote and increased the volume to the music. It was instrumental, something she’d never heard before but it sounded lovely.

‘I’ll be back,’ he said and then nipped out.

Jude came back with a bottle of champagne, popped it opened and poured them a glass each.

‘I could get used to this,’ Eden took a sip of the champagne.

‘And you should. I’ll just go get the starters.’ He added and left before Eden could say anything. She looked around her, her heart was happy and even though the day had taken its toil on her she finally began to relax. She looked at the silver ring with the diamond in the middle and admired it. It looked good on her finger. She couldn’t believe it, actually seeing the ring on her finger made it that much more real. She was going to be someone’s wife. Not so long ago she never believed that this day would ever come, but it had and with the most amazing man she’d ever met.

Jude returned with a tray and placed two small piping hot bowls with prawns in garlic sauce and garlic bread.

‘Hmmmm, this smells so good it’s making my mouth water.’ Eden gazed at the starter. The prawns floated in the garlic sauce. Jude put the tray to one side and sat down opposite her, the candle lighting up his face.

He lifted the bowl of garlic bread and encouraged her to take some and to dip it into the sauce.  Eden did so and closed her eyes as she took in the amazing taste that tickled her taste buds.

‘Where on earth did you learn to cook like this?’

‘I had some help.’ He winked. ‘I’m an okay cook as you know but – ‘

‘Let me guess, Amber?’ Eden smiled, it was the first time she could say that name without feeling threatened.

‘She sends her love.’ He teased.

‘I bet she did.’ She picked up a fork and picked up the prawns, they were equally divine.

‘So...’ he looked at her gently. ‘I didn’t get to ask how your first day as boss went.’

Eden chewed on the prawn and smiled slightly,’ Turned out better than I thought it would. Everyone seemed onboard and supportive. I was quite surprised.’

‘That’s good isn’t it?’

‘Yes I guess. I think everyone was just pleased to know where they stood. I guess there is nothing worse than not knowing what’s going to happen to your job.’

‘Hmm, I can’t imagine it.’ He dipped into the sauce with the garlic bread.

‘I made a few contacts during my meetings, which I’m glad about.’ She added.

‘That’s great honey. You know I will support you whatever you do.’

‘Yes I know and I love you for it.’

They drifted onto other things and Jude went to get the second course which was pasta in cheese sauce, chicken strips and mixed vegetables.

‘You have really out done yourself.’ She dug into the food. ‘This is amazing.’

‘Thanks hun, I’m so glad you’re enjoying it.’

They decided on a wedding date which was a year away. That would give them enough time to plan.

‘I can’t wait to tell Liv.’ she smiled widely.

‘We should also go and see your mum.’

Eden was silent about that for a moment. Jude was right but she didn’t know how she felt about her mother at that moment.

‘Not only about the wedding but about Josh. When he comes out of hospital he will need a place to stay to recover.’

‘I know you’re right but I’m just not sure I’m ready to face her.’

‘You won’t have to do it alone; I’ll be there with you.’

He put his hand across the table and placed it over hers. ‘I’m here for you.’

‘I know Jude, I know.’ She still wasn’t convinced she wanted to go and see her mother but he was right. She had to tell her about the engagement and they had to discuss Joshua whether her mother wanted to or not.

‘Time for desert.’ He began to clear the plates after they’d finished.

‘Gosh, I’m not sure there’s enough room for desert.’ She sat back into the chair. The evening had been lovely.

‘Okay.’ He stood with the plates in his hand. ‘How about we dance, that way we can make room for desert.’

‘Dance?’ Eden giggled.

‘Yes dance.’ He popped out quickly to take the plates to the kitchen and then returned, picked up the remote and messed around with it a bit.

‘How about…. Some Luther… da da dad a…’ He held out his hand for her take. ‘C’mon.’

Eden took his hand and they began to move to the music Eden laughing in between.

‘Oh yeah, shake it for me baby…’

‘Stop it.’ she laughed shyly as they swung to the music.

Jude sang along to the song.

‘Oh stop.’                                                 

‘C’mon, show daddy some moves.’ He swung her around and Eden began to get into the beat. ‘That’s more like it, that’s how I know you.’ He made her do another twirl and then took her into his arms and they swayed to the music.

‘This has been the best and happiest night of my life.’ Eden cradled into Jude as the music slowed down.

‘Mine too, you’ve made me the happiest man on earth.’ He kissed the crown of her head.

They slowed down with the music, Jude ran his finger up and down the middle of her spine. She lifted her head and gazed up into his eyes. Without words he lowered his head and kissed her lips. Eden gasped for air, it didn’t matter what, he would always be able to take her breath away.

First his kisses were slow and then became more desperate. He lowered to her neck as he began to unbutton her blouse. His warm hands found their way to her healthy bust. His kisses moved from her neck to her chest and finally to her breasts. Without taking off her bra Jude took her nipple between his teeth, pulling and slightly biting into the bud teasing her nipples.

‘Oh Jude.’ She panted desperately, her hands in his hair. The more she cried for him the more he gave of himself and explored her body.

‘I love doing this to you.’ He whispered into her stomach on his knees and his hands on her hips. ‘I love you from this angle too.’ He nuzzled into her middle and then undid the button to her trousers and they lowered.

‘Beautiful,’ he said as she stepped out.

Jude wasted no time and quickly lowered her panties.

‘Open wide so I can see you.’ His voice was low making her wet and clenching her clit.

Eden lifted her leg slightly and Jude captured it and placed it onto his shoulder. He then let his index finger run gently over the skin of her pussy.

‘Aahaah.’ Eden took in the sensation; she pushed her hips forward to meet his hand to receive more of his touch.  Jude let his fingers play with her for a moment and then brought his mouth forward. His lips met her pussy lips and they fitted together perfectly. He kissed her and sucked her hard!

‘Aahahahaha!’ She threw back her head as she felt the skins of her clit being sucked into his mouth.  He flickered his tongue like a snake would, teasing the very sensitive parts of her.

‘Make me come like you did the last time,’ she murmured.

‘That would be my pleasure.’ He dipped his index finger into her. Her body became ridged for a moment. The sensation beyond description in words; each time Jude took her to a new level. It was never boring, only exciting and adventurous.

He played about teasingly within her but didn’t do as he’d done the last time she’d come. Eden wanted so much to experience what she had the first time he’d made her splash out but instead he played around within her.

‘Patience my dear.’ He let his lips land on her swollen lips. He licked her and tasted her as if she were a tasty desert. Her body began to build in preparation to let go; she could feel it and so could he. He dipped a ridged tongue into her and ran it up and down her slit.

‘Ah, ah, nuh aha nauahahaha!’ Eden couldn’t bear it much longer. For a brief second he looked up at her with wet lips and smiled. That did it for her. His hunger, his hands against her warm flesh made her so excited, too excited to contain herself.

Without warning he dipped two fingers into her suddenly.

‘Ahahhhhh!’ It was an unexpected shock but a shock she loved. It was then that he repeated the manoeuvre he’d done before. He brought both fingers forward towards him inside her!

‘Oh shit!’ she screamed. She grasped onto his locks as if to keep herself from falling. 

He moved his fingers with the right kind of pressure and Eden met him with equal eager.

‘That’s it baby, come for me, come for me.’ His hands moved faster, even though she couldn’t tell what he was doing to make her feel so amazing, this vulnerable…she absolutely love it. The new experience, the feeling of being ripped apart internally, a dull but good pain. A pain that wanted, needed to be pressed on over and over again. It wasn’t bad, it was good! Everything in that moment was good, her life, the man between her legs, everything!

‘That’s it, that’s it baby!’ he grunted hungrily as he watched her weaken, as she came under his spell, under his charm.

He twisted his hand as if turning on a tap and without restraint or restriction Eden let go. She was free to be and to be accepted in whatever state she was in.

‘Yes, yes yes baby, yes!’ He accepted her as she came onto him. He loved the sound of her voice as she let go, the soft scent of her wetness as she came all over him.  It only made him hunger for more of her.

‘I will never get enough of you.’ He breathed gently moving his wet fingers. The wetness had soaked his shirt.

He quickly unbuttoned a few buttons to the shirt and pulled it over him. He also quickly unbuckled his jeans and lowered his boxers. His cock stood to attention, big and strong! He wanted nothing but to enter her as deep as she would allow.

‘Lie down for me baby,’ he said softly as he helped her to the floor. ‘I want to make you happy, as long as you’re happy I’m happy.’

Eden was in a world of her own, glowing in the buzz of her orgasm and feeling the build up of another one. His voice strong and yet tender, everything about him gave her body reason to want more of him, to take him.

Jude waited at her entrance as he admired her. He smiled down at her as Eden looked up at him weak and longingly. With nothing more Jude entered her slowly. He closed his eyes to the sensation; this had been a long wait. He had held back for a long time and if he didn’t master enough self control it would be short lived. He pushed into her rotating his hips and then withdrew.

‘Don’t stop.’ She panted lightly. ‘Don’t ever stop.’

‘If only that were possible my love.’ He giggled lightly and re-entered her this time a lot faster and with more need. They breathed heavily and Eden grasped onto his tight butt and encouraged him to enter her deeper and faster.

‘I love…you…Jude!’ she breathed and felt herself build up again. ‘I love you so much.’

‘Aaaaaha,’ Jude felt himself come at the sound of her words. Everything about her made him weak all over. ‘I…love….ahahaha, you!’ He couldn’t hold back any longer and together they came holding each other as tight as they could.

Available at Amazon

Eden, Jude & Spencer Final coming soon

 So the final of Eden, Jude is almost done. At the beginning I thought I would call it Bound by Love but as the book moved forward I had a different idea.

Jude is the kind of man I would dream of sharing my life with. Understanding and optimistic. His unfailing love helps Eden through a very tough and trying time and it seems that no matter what they go through, he's always there for her. So the title Unfailing Love seemed more appropriate.

I've really enjoyed writing this series and I will be sorry to end it but I have more book ideas and more characters to write about now.

Anyway the final series will be out this March and I hope that you will enjoy the final to this amazing love story.


COMING IN MARCH!!!

So This Is Love

I'm so excited to announce that the second book to the Eden, Jude and Spencer story is now finished. I honestly enjoyed writing it. It took me on an unexpected journey that made me ask many questions about love.

Do we fall in love and that's the end of it or do we only discover more about ourselves when we fall in Love?

I guess we're the only ones who can answer that question but the characters of my book answered it very well. Love has no time or age limit, it just is. So I hope you will continue the journey with them and I hope you enjoy the second part to this story. 

AMAZON UK
AMAZON US

Eden has made her choice but it isn’t as simple as that. Even though she thinks she knows what she wants, she had failed to consider what the other party wanted.

Spencer is crazy in love with Eden to the point of it becoming an obsession. The once soft spoken Spencer has sent some serious doubts about who he really is. He isn’t the man he used to be or he never was the man Eden thought he was.

And Jude, Jude is young but also very wise. He has the amazing ability to see everything in a positive light that it makes Eden realise that age doesn’t equal maturity. And in the end his positive outlook on life suddenly makes sense to Eden when time is suddenly taken from their lives.  

As you enter the world of Eden, Spencer and Jude, you will discover that betrayal can be overcome, attempted murder wasn’t an answer and that secrets can totally change the course of their lives, but you will also discover passion, love and a happy beginning to the end. 

Excerpt

‘Oh Jude. I’m so sorry please forgive me.’ She pleaded.

‘I don’t understand. How did you find me? What are you doing here?’ He looked at the beautiful woman with the bushy hair and his heart melted. He still felt the anger towards her but he couldn’t help but feel the warmth within him for her. He loved her and yet she’d hurt him dearly.

‘Please let me in and I’ll explain everything.’ She looked into his brilliant blue eyes but he only looked ahead avoiding her gaze.

‘I don’t know. This has really taken its toil on me and I don’t think I can.’

‘Please.’ She put her hand to his face and gently ran a finger down the contours of his face. He briefly closed his eyes to the sensation of her soft touch but quickly denied himself the pleasure. ‘Jude?’

He stepped back and let her walk in. It was bigger on the inside than it looked on the outside. The roof above them had wooden beams and as he led them to the living room Eden took in the beauty of the cottage that must’ve been in his family for years.

There was a fire burning in the living room. A blanket and a book were placed in the middle of the floor. One long cream couch stood to the back of the room against the window. As she looked out of the window she could see the sheep grazing on the field besides it. 

Just then she turned back to face Jude who was gazing intensely at her. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking but she had to say what she wanted to say quickly.

‘Please sit.’ He pointed her in the direction of the couch and she sat and he quickly did the same. They faced each other for a moment in silence. She watched every part of him. His forehead down to his sharp nose and then his lips. He was so stunning Eden didn’t know what to do with herself. Likewise, even though he tried as hard as he could he couldn’t stop gazing at the woman in front of him. It felt like a dream, she had finally come to be his and yet he couldn’t bring himself to accept it.

‘Jude I’m sorry for pushing you away. I’m sorry for saying that I had to choose. You were right not to wait it was a selfish thing to ask.’ Tears gathered in her eyes. ‘I just hope you’ll forgive me and hopefully we could make a go of us.’ She reached out to take his hand but he quickly withdrew.

‘I don’t know Eden. You hurt me. You really hurt me. I’m here to get over you and I don’t think I can do this again with you. I loved you.’

Loved! The words stabbed through her heart like a spear.

‘I just don’t know. The night you told me you were going with Spencer was the night I knew I couldn’t put myself through this any longer.’

‘But I told Spencer it wasn’t him, it never was. I was running, I was afraid, afraid that you would leave me.’

‘What’s going to stop you from being afraid again? How do I know you won’t run again? I can’t do that to myself again.’ He looked away and out onto the field. He just couldn’t have her in his presence, so close. He didn’t feel strong enough with her right there.

‘I won’t, I won’t run again. Please give us a try.’ She felt at though she was going nowhere.

Jude shook his head unconvinced; a tear trickled down his cheek. Eden hadn’t realised how serious he’d been about her and how young and fragile he still was.

‘Tell me you want me to leave and I will. I won’t force you to have me here. I don’t expect you to take me back even though I was hoping you would.’

Jude pursed his lips. How could he tell the one woman he’d loved so early and quickly in his life to go? It wasn’t that simple and yet his ego had been so bruised he just couldn’t fight against it.

‘I want you to go,’ he said finally. ‘I’m sorry.’ He got up and walked towards the window and wiped his tears.

‘Oh.’ She nodded defeated. It was the most painful thing she’d experienced since the loss of George. Her body felt like lead and she felt as though she would be sick but she gathered herself together and decided to be strong. It had been a long shot. It had been a risk going there and she was glad she had tried. There was no other way she would be able to convince him that she was serious about him as he was about her.

‘I’ll go. I’ll go.’ She swallowed back the tears as she stood up from the settee and walked towards the door.

‘Jude,’ she said before walking from the living room and he turned to face her tears in his eyes.

‘You once told me you loved me and I wondered how someone could love someone that quickly. Do you remember what you said to me?’

He shook his head.

‘You said there was no time limit on love and I get that now. I’ve always loved you. I’ve known from the beginning. You were right, you just know, there is no time on it. I was stupid and scared but I’m not now. I do love you.’ She turned and walked out the door and headed for her car.

What to expect in 2013

As I sit down at my computer on New Years eve I feel nothing but excitement. 

Penning the second series to the Eden, Spencer and Jude saga from Complicated Love has nothing but surprises  The characters have taken me to places I hadn't dreamed about when I started the first series.

Jude has a secret of his own that will come out and Spencer, is he really as nice as he makes out to be? Eden has sorted through her confusion and is moving forward positively but with all the challenges thrown her way, one has to wonder if she'll managed to continue the positive outlook.

Anyway back to my three favourite characters!  I swear it's like have three people live in my head day and night. Like have a split personality. But I must admit I'm enjoying every moment of them and of the story. Please check back for more and I promise you won't be disappointed. 

Wishing you a happy and successful 2013!

Complicated Love

Eden is carrying a secret so dark she feels the need to pay for it by never falling in love again.  Only her friend Olivia since school years knows the whole story.

Eden believes that she doesn’t deserve love but one night on an evening out Eden bumps into Jude, a man fifteen years younger than she is.  The young medical student is infatuated but Eden won’t allow herself to feel anything for him. Instead she takes up the offer to date her boss Spencer who has been pestering her for the past few years. Eden will do anything not to fall in love again but Jude won’t give up that easily and Eden finds it hard to resist him because he reminds her so much of her past. The past she never wants to bring up again.

Jude fights his hardest for her but as time passes he gets the feeling that she doesn’t love him back as much as he loves her and wonders if it is worth the effort . Eden has to make a decision that will change the rest of her life and she wonders in the end if she’s made the right decision.

This is the first in the series please look out for the second series ‘So this is love.’ Coming in early 2013.

 Excerpt

Bag packed Eden sat back on the bed and thought about tomorrow. She was actually looking forward to it. It would be nice to go away for the weekend and do other things besides work. Sort of a refresher, the body’s way of rejuvenating but then again it wasn’t that simple, Eden was still torn.

Just then she heard the door bell ring.

‘Shit!’ It had slipped her mind. ‘Jude! Shit!’ She was supposed to answer the text to let him know she wouldn’t be available but it was too late now.

Quickly she took a glance at herself in the mirror. She still looked great in her grey tweed dress that was just above the knees, the black woolly tights and the black ankle boots really put the outfit together. Her hair was still in its place with a woollen flower headband around it. She rubbed her lips together as if distributing lip-gloss and then hurried downstairs.

‘God I’ve missed you.’ He flung his arms around her before she had the chance to say or do anything.

He squeezed her tight into him and for a moment Eden took in the embrace, enjoying the moment.

‘Jude.’ She pulled away quickly and then closed the door. ‘We need to talk.’

‘About what?’ He smiled down at her, he was lovely, there was no denying that but was that enough. He leaned forward and captured her face into his hands and brought her face forward so that their lips met.

‘Jude.’ She mumbled weakly into him. ‘Jude please.’ She withdrew again weakly. It was so hard trying to resist him.

‘What’s wrong? Have I done something wrong?’

‘Why don’t you come and sit down in the living room.’ She led the way and he followed. She sat down and he took off his coat before doing the same.

‘You’re worrying me. What’s wrong?’ The worry was evident in his eyes.

‘It’s us, this, we have to talk.’ She had to tell him, she’d decided what she wanted and she had to live with the consequences of it. She’d replayed a lot of what Olivia had said and although she was right on many levels, Eden had to do what was best for her.

‘We can’t do this.’ She took his hand in hers.

‘Do what?’

‘This, whatever it is you call this. You can’t keep showing up here. I can’t do this with you.’

‘Is it that man?’

‘What man?’

‘The one who came here the other day?’

‘Spencer, his name is Spencer, and no it isn’t Spencer. This is about us.’

‘I don’t understand. I thought you understood that I love you, that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I thought you felt the same way too.’

Eden pursed her lips together; this was harder than she thought it would be. Of course she liked him, she liked him more than anyone, she might even love him, but was that enough?

‘I can’t. I can’t do this. This isn’t what I want.’

His eyes glazed over but he blinked back the threat of tears. ‘Why. What could honestly make you say this? You have to help me understand.’

Eden took a deep breath and squeezed his hand.

‘It’s a lot of things.’

‘Tell me. I have time.’ He wasn’t letting this go.

‘For starters, the age thing. It’s just not right.’

‘Say’s who. No one questions a fifty year old man marrying a twenty five year old.’

‘It’s different.’ She huffed.

‘How?’

‘This is a mans world!’ she sang trying to joke about it. ‘This is a mans world.’

But Jude didn’t share in the joke; he turned to look at her seriously. This wasn’t a joke to him, neither was it to her but she just didn’t see the possibility of a relationship.

‘It’s strange on so many levels.’ She continued.

‘How exactly? I’m not buying that!’

‘First of all we just met. It’s hardly appropriate declaring love for one another so early.’ Although she had to admit the powerful feeling within her must be what love felt like. ‘Secondly, I hardly know you. I know you’re a doctor but I don’t really know you.’

‘Anything else?’ He raised his eyebrows. Eden shrugged; there were many things she quite couldn’t think up just then.

‘About me telling you I love you. You may think I’m naïve but I’m studying for a medical degree. I know what I’m saying and even though it may be impossible to you, it’s possible for me. It’s so real. I just know that this is it, deny if you might, but I know that you feel it too. It’s not something that can be explained it can only be felt. I may be young but I’m so sure of this feeling, I know it deep down in me that I love you.’

Maturity had taught her otherwise. At sixteen that may’ve been true but life experience had taught her otherwise. There was something wonderful about being young and naïve though. You took more chances at life and maybe that was how life was supposed to be; about taking chances, about taking a step of faith and living in the now. 

‘What will it take for you to believe a little? To stop being so afraid and to step out and love? You want to know about me, ask. We have years ahead of us.’ His face lit up somewhat. For someone that young he sure was wise. If she believed in reincarnation he would’ve been an old soul.

‘I am. I’m doing that.’

He took in a deep breath, ‘Really, with that guy – ‘

‘Spencer, his name is Spencer and well…’

‘Are you seriously going to be with that guy?’

Eden felt a tad annoyed; she really wished he would stop calling Spencer that guy.

‘Jude, I’m…I’m trying to understand what I want. It’s been a long while and I’m trying to figure it all out.’

‘And how do you propose to do that?’

Eden wondered if she should tell him about tomorrow. Deep down she knew what she wanted but she wasn’t sure it was even the right thing.

‘I’m going away with him.’

Jude’s face dropped, Eden watched as his face turned red and his eyes widened.

‘He’s booked us a weekend away. I know this might be a shock to you but I really need to do this. Jude, I don’t want you waiting for me. I want you to move on with your life. I want you to be with someone right for you.’

He remained silent and looked into space, Eden had no idea what to expect. A part of her was afraid he would walk out of the door and never come back. Was that what she wanted?

‘Aren’t you going to say something?’ she asked finally.

‘There…there is nothing to say. It is clear that you’ve made your choice.’

‘I haven’t made a choice; I’m only trying to find out what I want.’

‘By going away with Spencer?’ He finally said his name as if he had accepted defeat. ‘I want you to know that I love you.’ He looked into her eyes. ‘I’m not just saying it, I mean it but it’s clear you don’t love me back and – ‘

‘It’s complicated Jude, please – ‘

‘This is why I’m leaving now.’ He got up to go, the pain was like a dagger through his heart. He was about to let the love of his life leave his life for good. There was no other way to convince her that he loved her and that he wanted to be with her. He’d never been so sure of anything in his life but he couldn’t force love.

Eden watched as he stood up and walked towards the door, she followed slowly behind him. Her body felt like lead and the fear in her stomach felt the loss. Was this what she really wanted? Why was she pushing love away? But she knew why, it was better to be safe than sorry.

‘Goodbye Eden.’

‘Jude.’ She reached out and grasped his arm. ‘Give me time.’

‘To do what?’

‘To choose, to find out what I want.’

‘What about me? What about what I want.’

‘Please?’

‘I don’t know Eden, this isn’t what I anticipated. You don’t get to choose, to play with my emotions.’

‘But I’m not…I’m just so confused right now.’ She felt like a tided up knot.

‘I’m not.’ He turned the door handle and walked out the without turning back.

Complicated Love is available at

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Merry Christmas and a happy 2013

It’s been a year and some months since I published my first novella. It has been an interesting journey and I’m looking forward to 2013.

If there is one thing I’ve learnt is that you can’t please everyone. I once heard a saying that opinions are like butts, everyone has one. So there will be people who like what you write and there will be people who don’t and that’s okay.

When you do what you love you stay true to yourself and even though some people may not like what you do, you do and that’s what counts. When someone doesn’t like what I write then it is clear that that person should not be reading my work and will probably never will again.  The people who do like what I write will, I hope will read more of my work. I’m grateful to all my readers, those who like my work and those who didn’t. They have all taught me something valuable about myself, like never give up and keep writing and improving my craft.  Our world would be a boring place if we were all the same. It’s good to have difference of opinion.

On a different note I’m happy to announce that I do have a new story coming out in the New Year. A love story that I’m so excited to tell. It started as an idea and I wanted to play with the characters a little and it turned out different to what I’d set out for it to be. It will be part of a series. Not sure how long the series will be but I will keep writing it until there is nothing left to write. I guess we all fantasise about the love we desire and even though sometimes in reality it may not be so, at least in our imagination we can make that dream come true.

Finally I just want to say thank you to all my readers and all my followers for an inspiring 2012. I've learnt so much and I’m continuing to learn. May you all have a blessed Christmas and an amazing 2013!